the good

I'm working on focusing on the the positive aspects of unemployment. There are upsides and downsides to anything and it's only when one column outnumbers the other that you actually get to decide that something is definitively one way or the other. The problems start when you've decided, consciously or not. That's when it becomes difficult to see anything but the bad (or the good), and I don't want to get stuck in that. Here is my short list of the good:

Freedom. (Just another word for nothing left to lose.) My days here are so open. It's (I admit guiltily) nice to wake up in the morning sometimes and not know what I'm doing. The caveat appears to be that I can take a day here and there, but no more without feeling awful and lazy.

Days free. When I worked in an office I would say I didn't take a lunch break at least 80% of the time. From 9 am to 6 (or 6:30 or 7) I sat inside staring at a computer screen. People would come in and remark on the weather and it would take me a second before I realized I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. Now I can go hiking during the day or go and sit on Venice Beach for as long as I want.

Friends. My friends are proving to me daily how lucky I am to have them. From giving me places to stay to just listening when they can tell I'm going a little crazy, unemployment has strengthened my relationships and also given me the time to really enjoy them.

Adventure. I didn't want to look back on my life and realize that I'd only ever made the safe, rational decisions. It's true that sometimes my life right now is less than fun. It was true before, too and I think it's good for me to realize that there is always joy and fun to be had, if I can find it. This summer made me a better and happier person. It clarified what I want from my life and I would argue till I was breathless with anyone who questioned its worth.

The odds of me couch surfing and living out of my car indefinitely are very, very slim. If nothing else, I'm gonna end up homeless on the beach. That's a joke, but it's oddly comforting to know that, regardless of what happens, things will change. That gives me infinite possibilities to make them change for the better.